Sioux Falls is like a middle child. She doesn’t relate much to her older sister, the big city, who commands attention just because of her presence and large personality;
but she finds herself unlike her little sister, the small town, who simply receives the attention due to constant chatter about her amongst the townspeople. Sioux Falls is a little lost as to who she wants to be, just caught in the middle of two places.
And I think this is why her and I have gotten along so well these past two months. My roots are deeply ingrained in small-town life, but my heart sometimes feels like it is more alive in the big city. I get caught between the tension of the two worlds, of community and diversity, which is why whenever I come back to Sioux Falls, I feel a new sense of having found myself through much time of reflection, of understanding my roots, but also of dreaming of a new future.
This little “break” of life that I’ve been brought through by no choice of my own has been such a blessing. I find in myself a new appreciation for my family, for where I’ve come from, but also a sense of closure with my past and feelings of excitement towards moving on into the upcoming phase of life. Through many discussions with my parents, I’ve been able to understand where they are coming from which, in turn, teaches me a little more about where I’ve come from and essentially, where I’m going. This stuff isn’t the easiest to learn about- our histories are all filled with garbage that we hope disappears on it’s own. But I’ve found that sorting through this stuff, recognizing it’s presence but not clinging to it, only makes the grace I’ve received through the blood of Christ that much sweeter. I wrote this “poem” if you can even call it that, after a conversation with my parents about their history and, truthfully, my history too.
WHERE I’M FROM
I am from divorce, from affairs, from alcoholism -to death stemming from indulgence.
I am from physical and emotional abuse; from ritual Catholicism to stoic German silence.
I am from conflict, from large-scale restraining orders to those Jehovah’s Witnesses knocking at your front door.
I am from mental illness, from atheism, from small-town farming to the California Gold Rush.
I am from drug abuse, from homelessness, from laziness to hopelessness.
This is all flowing in my very blood line. A cycle of disobedience.
But how beautiful that JESUS CHRIST breaks every chain. His blood has washed away the past; has redeemed my life from a pit of emptiness.
And now, THIS is WHERE I’M FROM:
I am from the bloodline of David; from a place of hope in a desperate world.
I am from the Risen Savior! From the redemption that saved me from my sinful inclination.
I am from a God of compassion, from a Father who sent His very son to feel the pains of my past life so He could relate.
I am from a place of grace, of Holiness deeply rooted in love.
The truth is, this and worse is the history in all of our bloodlines.
Death and destruction are at the very core of us, but we have been chosen to receive a priceless gift of new blood.
We are forever free to love again.
Praise the Lord for new blood!